George, Don’t Do That! Episode 1

Royal Correspondents are normal people. I put on my garters, my suspenders and press my velvet cravat each morning just like the next man. For years, I feel as if I have been pigeon-holed a one type of person.

I am not posh. I am not a toff. I am no better than any of you. Maybe the people need to go back to their council estates and claim their free benefits and live their life the decent people they so clearly are.

I’m sorry… I’ve had a bad week.

Before this week I hadn’t yet had the wonderful opportunity to speak to the beautiful Duchess of Cambridge – the beautiful Kate! Such poise and elegance – I have been bursting to meet her!

Unfortunately, not yet having infiltrated the inner circle of elite Royal correspondents – the rest of us call them, ‘trust fund babies’… we are too, of course, but theirs are bigger. Bigger, as my wife sadly keeps reminding me, apparently really does mean better. My opportunities for a meeting have been few and far between.

My chance came this week, as the Duchess attended a Christening for a dear friend’s child, with her son Prince George in a little church in Wiltshire.

As she walked the pathway to the church, she was inundated by members of the public. Not the British Public – they rarely have time for all these petty events, but Americans, Japanese, French – all those who surely dream of having a monarch.

As a friend held baby George, she stepped quietly away from the furore – now mostly focused on the child – and stepped right next to me!

I could barely contain my excitement! We shared a glance and a moment of awkward silence, before I eventually got up the courage to say, ‘Young George seems to be handling things rather well!’ followed by a kind smile.

She turned around and frowned at me. I didn’t understand. She quickly strode over to a push chair outside of the waiting tourists being looked after by two men in black suits. She picked up the bawling baby and started to comfort it.

The baby playing in the middle wasn’t George. I had got the wrong baby.

Was I embarrassed? Mightily. I console myself with the fact that all babies look the same, so this one really isn’t my fault.

Actually, I take that back. The last thing I want to be seen as is a baby racist.

I slunk off quietly to my car. I had half a bottle of Brandy in there. Which…. I of course didn’t drink until I was safely in my bath.

It’s been a tough week.

For more, ‘George Don’t Do That!’ Click here


When Objects Come to Life – Shoes

I’m just a pair of shoes trying to survive in a dog-eat-shoe world. 

My seconds attempt at a YouTube video. 

If you enjoy it, please do share it  – it would mean a huge amount 🙂 

Guy Hugo 🙂

My First YouTube Video!

Hi there everyone! After another annoying setback yesterday in regards to collaboration, I just decided to go for it and make my first video!
Unfortunately, I don’t really have the camera equipment I need to be able to shoot a vaguely satisfactory video, so I have made this as an audio comedy sketch!
The image behind is a stock one, and came out more grainy than I would have liked, but apparently I can’t have a blank video on YouTube (whod’a thunk it 😛 ).
As far as the content goes, it’s pretty mild. It is something I had vaguely wanted to try for a while so I just thought – what the hell!
Please do let me know what you think and what turns you on/off about the video (Oh, God, that probably isn’t the best thing to say, given the title, is it… oh well, you know what I mean!) all feedback is appreciated, and, yeah – if you like it then showing it to your friends would mean a huge amount!
Thank you again for watching and to all those who have read/commented/liked my other posts, it honestly means a huge huge amount to me 🙂
With love to you all!
Guy Hugo